Quickest way to rank on google without caring about the longterm?

Hey guys, so I'm dipping my toes into selling affiliate products on launch day and need to have my site ranked up at number one as quickly as possible. I just created the site today and the launch is within the next five to eight days, so what would be my best plan of action? I was thinking of going onto fiverr and buying some gigs there but should I wait until the day before the launch? Would my site rank that quickly? It is an EMD if that helps any.

Also I don't care about it getting penalized by google after the launch day.